5 DBT Coping Skills for the Holiday Season
- Kat Schultz
- 1 hour ago
- 3 min read
The holiday season can be a very stressful time for many folks. Whether you're traveling, hosting, or feeling lonely, a lot of difficult and painful emotions can rise to the surface. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has plenty of skills for you to use to cope with these overwhelming feelings.
DBT is a synthesis of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Zen Buddhism. It incorporates the foundation of CBT with mindfulness skills. It's used to treat emotion dysregulation and self-destructive behaviors, among other mental health struggles. Here are a few DBT skills to focus on that can help you stay regulated and experience the positives during the holidays.
P.L.E.A.S.E.
Keep your foundation strong by attending to your body's needs during this stressful time with the PLEASE acronym. This Emotion Regulation skill helps you reduce vulnerability to labile emotions. Treat or manage any physical symptoms that come up (PL), eat foods that nourish you (E), avoid drugs and alcohol (A), get balanced sleep (S), and move your body in a way that feels good to you (E).
T.I.P.
TIP, sometimes spelled TIPP, is another acronym skill but this time from the Distress Tolerance module. It's to be used when your distress reaches the level of crisis. It activates your body's parasympathetic nervous system to help calm you down. Each letter represents one way to practice the skill (you are not meant to do all of them at one time!). T stands for temperature - specifically cold temperatures: dip your face in a bowl of ice water, run your hands under a cold faucet, hold a bag of frozen peas to your neck. I stands for intense exercise: do 10 vigorous jumping jacks or run in place for 30 seconds. P stands for paced breathing paired with muscle relaxation: breathe in for 4 seconds and clench your fists or another muscle, hold for 7 seconds, then exhale and release your muscles for 8 seconds. This skill is meant to be brief and please consult a doctor if you have a physical condition that might be impacted by this skill.
FAST
This skill comes from the Interpersonal Effectiveness module that helps us engage effectively with others. FAST is an acronym skill that is meant to maintain your self-respect during an interaction so you feel good about how you acted. It stands for be Fair, no Apologies (unless you did cause harm), Stick to your values, and be Truthful. With this acronym you are meant to do every letter within a single interaction. This skill can be very helpful for people-pleasers.
This acronym is another Interpersonal Effectiveness skill, this time for setting a boundary or asking for a need to be met. You Describe the situation nonjudgmentally, Express how it makes you feel, Ask or say no, Reinforce with encouragement. While doing these steps you stay Mindful, Appear confident, and be ready to Negotiate if you're willing. It can be helpful to script out your DEAR MAN in advance of having the conversation. Remember, though, even if your DEAR MAN is incredible, the other person still may not react how we want or expect.
Using the What skills and the How skills, be mindful while performing holiday rituals or engaging in pleasant activities. This helps you experience the positive emotions fully and fill up your resilience bank for when things get tough. Observe what you're experiencing, describe it, and then participate in it fully. Also try to be unmindful of worries, letting the pass through your mind while you enjoy the activity.
Try these DBT skills and let us know how they go!
We teach these skills as part of our DBT trainings for mental health providers and you can learn them for yourself in our self-paced DBT skills course.
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