Is Gratitude A DBT Skill?
November tends to be the season of gratitude for many people. Some celebrate Thanksgiving in some form and offer thanks. Others are gearing up for the winter holidays which also come with an essence of gratitude. While gratitude is not exactly a DBT skill from the original book, there is quite a bit of overlap.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a synthesis of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Zen Buddhism. It incorporates mindfulness skills into the foundation of CBT. It's used to treat emotion dysregulation and self-destructive behaviors, among other mental health struggles.
Everyone's gratitude practice looks different, but in general it involves reflecting on what we are grateful for in our life. Let's look at how gratitude practice actually fits really well into DBT whether it's aligning with DBT's perspective as a whole or how it can be used in certain DBT skills.
Gratitude as Dialectical
The D in DBT stands for Dialectical, meaning that two opposing things can be true at the same time. I can love my mother and be mad at her. I am doing my best and I can do better. Practicing gratitude doesn't mean you think your life is perfect. In fact, it's often prescribed for those who are struggling to find any good things in their life. So the dialectic is inherent: I am grateful for ___ and I am sad or struggling right now too. If we look only for the bad, we will find only bad - it's the confirmation bias of our very human brains. And if we look for the good, good we shall find. Gratitude practice can help us start to learn to look for and find the good.
Gratitude as Mindfulness
Reflecting on what we are grateful for is a way to practice mindfulness. We must think intentionally about aspects of our life and often review our day to find what we are grateful for. This involves the DBT "How" and "What" Mindfulness skills. We are observing and describing what we are grateful for and then participating in reflecting on them (What skills). We are trying to do this nonjudgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively - doing our best at focusing on this one task without judgment (How skills). Practicing gratitude mindfully actually makes it more effective.
Gratitude as Accumulating Positives (ABC)
Reflecting on the positive things in our life can help you realize how you're practicing another skill - accumulating positives (the A in ABC) from emotion regulation. Sometimes we go through experiences unmindfully as we go along and don't really commit them to the positive memory bank. But by reflecting on these experiences even after the fact, we can rectify that.
Gratitude as Meaning (IMPROVE)
Thinking about what is important to us can generate meaning. The M in the distress tolerance skill IMPROVE the Moment stands for meaning. The idea with this is that connecting to what's meaningful to you can help you get through crises and distress. Deciding what we are grateful for helps us identify what is important to us - which is often the first step in finding meaning.
There are lots of ways to start a gratitude practice - and next time you do, you can check a few DBT skills off your diary card, too!
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