Check back soon
Once posts are published, you’ll see them here.
Discreet DBT: Skills You Can Use Without Anyone Noticing
- Kat Schultz
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Taking care of our mental health can sometimes mean using methods of coping that may obviously indicate to others we are upset. However, we are sometimes in situations where we don't want our manageable level of distress to be communicated to others, such as in the workplace. So how do we help ourselves without alerting others? Thankfully, DBT has some skills to support us in this goal.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a synthesis of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Zen Buddhism. It incorporates mindfulness skills into the foundation of CBT. It's used to treat emotion dysregulation and self-destructive behaviors, among other mental health struggles.
Here are a few DBT skills that can be done discreetly, meaning they can be used without drawing too much attention to yourself. Try these out at work, on the bus, or wherever you find yourself wanting to be discreet.
Note: If your distress is unmanageable and you need external support to get through it, discreet DBT skills may not be the skills for you in this moment. Reach out and get the support that you need to stay safe.
Square Breathing
Square breathing is one of several breathing exercises that can be done discreetly. You can breathe through your nose for the whole exercise. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, and hold again for a count of 4. If the count of 4 feels too fast, you can extend the count but make sure you extend each leg of the exercise equally. Oftentimes we suggest tracing a square with your finger or eyes as you do this - but if that's not discreet enough for you, that's okay!
Temperature (TIPP)
The traditional way of practicing the T in TIPP, a classic DBT distress tolerance skill, is to dunk your face in a bowl of ice water. That's not very discreet though, is it? An alternative (though we acknowledge it might not have the same intensity of effect as the ice dive) is to run your hands under cold water. Head to the bathroom at work and wash your hands with the faucet set to cold. It's a pretty normal thing to do, even in a multi-stall bathroom!
Self-Soothe
There are many ways to practice the DBT distress tolerance skill of self-soothe, and many of them are pretty unobtrusive. This skill is about soothing the senses to soothe your emotions. Apply lotion to your hands and observe how it feels and smells. Put some chapstick on and be mindful of its texture and scent. Pop a mint in your mouth, chew gum, or eat a sour candy and once again, mindfully observe the sensations and taste. As you might've noticed, a key part of this skill is being mindful as you practice it.
Wise Mind ACCEPTS
The DBT distress tolerance skill Wise Mind ACCEPTS is an acronym consisting of many, many ways you can distract from your distress (not avoid it!). There plenty of ways to practice this skill discreetly, from engaging in hobbies to checking in on a friend without sharing you're upset. I'd like to highlight the P, Pushing away, and T, Thoughts. They are two skills that can be done completely in your head. Imagine yourself putting what's distressing you in a box and putting that box up on a shelf in the closet and closing the door - that's one way to practice Pushing away. For Thoughts, recite the lyrics of your favorite song in your head or count backwards from 100. Just a few ideas for you, of many.
Half-Smile
I didn't trust in the power of Half-smile when I first learned about this DBT skill, but I have since become a believer. The idea is to turn up just the outer corners of your lips into a hint of a smile. Not only does this signal to your brain to produce neurotransmitters that improve your mood, it can also facilitate acceptance and willingness, which is why it's in the reality acceptance category of distress tolerance skills. Plus, having a pleasantly neutral expression on your face conveys to others that you're okay.
Learn & Practice DBT skills with us
