DBT Affirmations to Support Dialectical Acceptance
- Kat Schultz

- 6 hours ago
- 2 min read

Holding opposing truths can be extremely challenging, especially for those of us who experience black-and-white/all-or-nothing thinking. That's one thing DBT is specifically designed to help.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a synthesis of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Zen Buddhism. It incorporates mindfulness skills into the foundation of CBT. It's used to treat emotion dysregulation and self-destructive behaviors, among other mental health struggles. The D in DBT, dialectical, refers to how two opposing things can both be true at the same time. It can be difficult to accept a dialectic and yet, it can reduce our suffering to do so.
Here are a few DBT-inspired dialectical affirmations to try out for yourself. To practice with them, say them to yourself either aloud or in your mind. Take a moment and sit with the feelings that come up. You may even practice half-smile and willing hands while you do so. Take a few deep breaths as you repeat the affirmation to yourself. Once you've given the affirmation a chance, return to your day.
I'm doing the best I can and I can do better
DBT is predicated on the assumption/belief that everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools that they have. That includes you! You are doing the best you can with the skills and support that you have AND as you learn more skills and get more support, you can do better.
Someone can love me and be mad at me at the same time
Someone being mad at us doesn't mean they no longer love us. We can hold anger and love towards a person at the same time - and so can everyone else. Holding on to both can help relieve abandonment panic when someone is angry with us.
I can accept my situation and work towards changing it
DBT has a skill called Radical Acceptance that relieves our suffering by helping us accept the present reality. Sometimes it feels like if we accept reality, we are giving up on working to change it. However, in order to change our situation, we must first accept it. So both are possible and even necessary.
I can make mistakes and be a good person
We all make mistakes; it's very human of us. That doesn't mean we're a bad person. Good people make mistakes too. What's important is that we take accountability for our mistakes and work to fix what we can, which we can only do if we stop the shame spiral. Holding this dialectic can help.
I can be strong and ask for help
Much like making mistakes, needing help is also very human of us. We all need support sometimes, whether that's emotional, logistical, or anything else. It doesn't make us weak. In fact, it can be a sign of strength to be able to ask for help. Both are true.
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